18 April 2011
Women’s Studies Creative Project
Like most young girls, growing up, I idolized my mother. My twin sister and I both always leaned on her for guidance, or when we needed a friend. To us, Mom was everything.
When we were about seven years old, my sister and I started noticing inappropriate behavior between my dad, and our neighbor’s mom. After months of speculation, our mom and dad told us they were getting divorced. We were told it was because they couldn’t get a long anymore, but we knew that wasn’t the real reason. Even though we were so young, we could feel it. Even though my dad had an affair, our mom stayed strong and didn’t show my sister and I weakness.
About a year after their divorce, I was listening to the radio, and the song Survivor, by Destiny’s Child came on. I looked to my mom, who was cooking dinner, and I said, “Mom, this is your song.” We listened to it together, and it made her tear up. It was true, being away from my dad, she quickly picked herself up, and became strong. She showed my sister, Laura, and I that you don’t need someone else to make your life worth something. She had gone from a doormat, to an outspoken, self-reliant, woman. That small moment in our past, was a milestone for us.
My mom is a working women, making a life for herself and her daughters. She is strong, and powerful, and not only is she a women, but she doesn’t need a man. “Recent transformations in female adolescents subjectivity and girls’ culture (specifically the feminist youth movement, riot grrrl” are seriously challenging previous conceptualizations of girls and female youth cultures as only consumption-oriented. Because of the success of the feminist movement in decreasing discriminatory practices based on sex, as well as in empowering females of all ages..” (Kearny). As Kearny stated, women have been challenging their role as housewife, and my mom is part of that group.
Recently I read an article by Tanya Erzen , about the Twilight trilogy. She talked about how Twilight fans sometimes forget reality and jump into the story. They think there are these perfect men out there who will love them for eternity. She comes up with the concept of a “Twilight Oath” which reminds me a lot of how my mom and I started to look at the reality of our future relationships. “I imagine a new “Twilight Oath” where fans promise not to base their entire lives on a man, where marriage isn’t the pinnacle of relationships, where we don’t expect love to be a matter of fate, where sex doesn’t necessarily lead to pregnancy or near-death, where men can cook for themselves, and where everyone gets communal childcare and the benefits of extended, non-biological families. That would certainly be a form of enchantment.” (Erzen)
Although this story has a lot to do with my mom, my mom has had the huge impact on my life. Watching her change and develop into an independent woman, taught me to do the same. Listening to the song Survivor always reminds me that I am the one who determines how my life turns out, and that I can do anything, with or without a man. It reminds me to be strong, and more importantly, it reminds me of my mom, and sister. That we got through the hard times, and that we survived.
Erzen, Tanya. 8 July 2010. AlterNet. 2011
Kearny, Mary Celeste. "Producinng Girls: Rethinking the Study of Female Youth Culture." Inness, Sherrie A. Delinquents and Debutants. New York: New York Universtiy Press, 1998. 289.
Survivor: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_RVId9OkgI
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